If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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