I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
