It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
