So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
