I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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