Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Pooping to opera.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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