the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He shit in the fireplace
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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