Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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