My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
So many bounce houses so little time
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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