shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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