so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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