The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
