I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize