You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
