Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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