Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize