Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize