when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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