good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
