fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
she told me i tasted like america
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
