I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
