I am puke
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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