Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize