Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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