It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
