he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Is Oprah even human
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
