When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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