God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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