I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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