In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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