just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
