Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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