I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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