so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
