ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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