last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize