Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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