I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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