Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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