you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
