i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
