After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
