Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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