SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I came so hard my ears popped.
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