I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
