I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize