I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Randomize
