I want to walk on stilts...naked
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
