this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
