Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
