your thong is hanging out like whoa
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
