You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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