she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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