I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
