he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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