If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Someone signed my nipple.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
