I am puke
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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