my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I should be sponsored by Trojan
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
