i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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