do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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