so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
