Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize