He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
