Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
