I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
