I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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