are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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