My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Someone came in the potted fern
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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