About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
