The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
