Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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