How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
