addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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