White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
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