Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
